Monday, April 9, 2012

And thus begins the dawning of clipping for Polyvore







I apologize, I am proud of my art, but I am adding things to clip to polyvore. Well, at least it's pretty to look at lol

Monday, April 2, 2012

Regrets, Heroin, and New Leaves

Oh sigh sigh sigh.

As well as I am doing in my life now, I find it hard to believe that in a time less far away than I would like to admit, I was a junkie slut heroin addict.

How life got to be like that, I have no idea. I mean, I remember the day it went from mmm shooting up feels glorious, to omg I'm going to be sick if I don't get some, it was in the 5ft x 9ft travel trailer that Brian and I lived in, in the parking lot of his dad's automotive shop (Sorry Chuck).

How seductive and powerful that horrible heroin is. I can't to this day smell vinegar without feeling dope sick. I can't get a shot or see a syringe without longing, and then feeling sick. Almost like a Clockwork Orange effect. I don't ever want to touch it ever again.
Well, of course, every addict always wants to feel it again, but never wants to become the addict we were at our worst and royally, emotionally ass-fuck every person we came into contact with and did that to before.
I just today wrote somebody that I know really deserved an apology. I used him like any piece of shit junkie uses somebody to not be sick, to get rides to meet shady people, for shady things.
Then I would high as a kite, and he really would be my hero, and my friend. Oh man, if he got me what I could throw in a spoon and cook, well as soon as it hit my system there's no one that was sweeter to him than me.

Yeah yeah, I should just focus on the really great part, which is, I am totally sober now and plan on being that for a long, long long time.

Some days it is just... there is such a duality in what I crave. If I think about some of the things I did, I get sick. Sometimes I think of wanting it so bad, I get sick.

I am sorry to you, Justin D. That was all me and it's really depressing me today.

Karma.

It's a bitch

Friday, March 30, 2012

Anybody want a peanut butter and .gif sandwhich?

Ooh I collect these little animated gifs, and never know what to do with them! It's not like you can print them out and frame them.








These are mostly Pamela I can't remember her last name, and Matthew Reed

Dallas, Anticipation, and a ghetto thrift store I dream about

So, it's a little late to be talking about it now, but  I went to Dallas, Texas during my kids' spring break from school. My mum, myself, and the girls took the four hour drive, so that we could get away from this dustbowl we now (against our will) call home. We went mainly for two things; 1. A hotel with an indoor swimming pool for my little mermaids and 2. IKEA/ and or the Outlet mall. I guess that's three things.

The drive up there was four hours. And what a nice drive it was. When we drove there, the sky was tinted the color of a bruise, giving way to periodical showers. My favourite type of weather. We passed through Eufalla, and for fleeting seconds at a time, I could squint out to the horizon, where mini-mountains and rolling hills could magically appear to be driving on Guide Meridian, in Lynden/Bellingham, Washington. I want so badly to be in that landscape again, it makes my bones ache.

Note below, the first picture is Eufala, Oklahoma. The second is Chuckanut Drive, Bellingham WA

It is hard for my Mum and I to even taste reality and confront the idea that we live in a place without so much as a semi-spacious body of water. There are no mountains, hills, evergreens, or misty valleys to admire in Tulsa. You get flat, beige-with-sticks to look at. I remember the first night I ever arrived in Tulsa, it was 3am, and in the morning I went outside and in the sunlight I remember thinking "where did the earthy mountains go?"

Eufala, Oklahoma

Chuckanut Bay/Drive, Washington

When we got to Dallas, we had a pretty good time. We cleaned house at Rue 21, and The Children's Place. As well as IKEA. I took some pretty neat pictures at that ode-to-Sweden-home-decor-store.

fabric banner at IKEA

Family Parking space, at IKEA

Two-Story tall IKEA sign..no seriously, it is

Tired after three hours of lighting fixtures, picture frames and couch cushions, Desi stops to take a well-deserved rest



The ride there and back were actually my favourite parts. We stopped in an old, run down part of Oklahoma, or was it Texas (?)  It all kind of blended together after a while, and I was screaming up and down for my poor Mum (she is the kind of person that does not like going anywhere where people's junk and cars in the yard take up more space on their property than the house) to stop at this thrift store, that I only saw the sign for. She is so sweet, she obliged, but alas, the store was closed. Located on the corner of Decrepit Street, and Ghetto Blvd, it was literally a single wide trailer PACKED to the ceiling of what little treasures I could never even begin to surmise.

So now I dream of it, lol. I would literally be willing to make the three hour drive for nothing but to spend all day going through every basket and bin in that place. Someday, thrift store, someday, I'll be back for you.















Above, the Thrift store sign and the buildings they called neighbors.


So that was our trip to Dallas.



In other news, I get to go see EDDIE VEDDER on April 23!!! At the Brady Theatre, in Tulsa.

The theatre was constructed in 1914, and renovated in 1930 and 1952. Used as a detention center during the infamous Tulsa Race Riots (oh yeah gotta love the midwest) in 1921 and is on the national register of historic places.

The Brady Theatre, formally known as the Tulsa Convention Center


I really don't know what I am more excited about- seeing Eddie Vedder or getting to go with my dear, dear friend, James. Ooh him and I are going to have the most fabulous time ever. I'll be thinking long and hard about which outfit best screams "I-am-a-90s-grunge-child-who-loves-flowers/i-am-trying-to-impress-you". We'll wait and see.

I must say on a parting note- CONGRATS, again, to my amazing friend, Britt Hannowell. Who I have had the pleasure of knowing since I was 14-15 (?) Britt you'll have to give me conformation on that, for sure, for GRADUATING and becoming an RN!!!! You get it girl, you are a wonderful contribution to the human race and I hold my breath for the day we can reunite in my beloved Bellingham!


xo


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

First off,


I want me some of those. Those are amazing. I love things like that. Just a random video I am in love with.

I went and saw Jane's Addiction at the Hard Rock Casino in Catoosa, outside of Tulsa OK. It was AMAZING, let me say that again; AMAZING and I fell even farther in love with Perry- who held my hand a few times while I was leaning on the stage, blew me a kiss...... touched my face...he's a little bit of a flirt, as Chupa once warned me he was. Dave Navarro- sorry dude, but is kind of a douche nozzle.
I mean, he gave me a few high fives and listened as I drunkenly-slurred at him that "Seattle loves him" but to other people, he wasn' the friendliest.

Here are my fave pics that I took that night:






Great great time. I wouldn't mind goin to see them again in Dallas, TX. They opened with "Ocean Size" and that was my favorite. Perry has aged like fuckin wine (which he was drinkin onstage that night) and they sounded better than I could have even imagined.

Speaking of Dallas....





My daughters are on spring break right now, we're headed to Dallas, TX tomorrow for some shopping.
I am on the HUNT for these:




Om nom nom nom I wanna eat em all up.

Hopefully somewhere in the Dallas area I will be able to buy some and not from frickin' Journeys. I don't know why or what about it...but I can NOT stand that store.


Hmmm what else is new.... oh! I have a new friend! He is super super super awesome and him and I will send pages at a time conversations about music, movies, family, just...whatever.

We SPAN time. We're friends, SPANNING time. Buffalo '66? Anyone? No?

I am just really glad to have met someone I can really talk to here in the stoopid mid-west. No offense meant, but if it did sorry. I am not gonna rephrase that.

Moving on...... I found some amazing pics of Charlotte Free, little love of my fashion life.

She just gives off such a vibe of the whole fuckyou(th) tribe and is so effortlessly visually appealing. So I guess I better come out here and officially ask; Charlotte, if you ever come across this page.... wanna go out for some coffee? Dinner? I love you. What... I didn't say that aloud.










I just love her. I stare a little too-longingly at her when I am making Polyvore sets. Which I will post more of soon.

I am off for now. Gotta pack for Dallas. 

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Look what the cat dragged (back) in.....

Well well,

it has been a while, hasn't it. But never fear, the brain that walks on two poles  (polars) as if stilts will never fully leave. Just take too-long of breaks. Sometimes my mental hopscotches stray me far far away.

The girls are 5 and 6. In pre-k and kindergarten now. Here are the days where we have homework and a strong structured schedule. Every other night is bath night. We read a lot (the girls are reading now) and play the wii, go for walks, draw, listen to music, etc.

Madeline and Desi love Adele, the Rolling Stones, Journey, Beyonce, and Morphine.

I, when alone, find myself obsessed with Polyvore... here are some of my collections below....


no more poison
Who can play "find the items that reek of heartache to ms. Equidistant?" Name 5 and name the location of the Mountain and B&W picture in the corner (hint: Whatcom County) and I will make you your very own collage to proudly (or full of shame) display (or hide) on your blog, fb, etc.

I got a little worked up...because of ONE little documentary on Netflix, I was reeled into that nostalgia you get only through music. I mean, smells, colors, sights, movies, art, etc. They can all provoke it too. But to me there is no bigger culprit of this than Music. Fucking Bela Fleck man, lol.
Anyhow, it conjured of deep feelings in me and the collage/whateveryouwannacallit above was the outcome. I called it "No more POison". I might print this out and interpret it into a painting or somethin....



Anyhow, here are a few more sets I made.... Idk... these are the things I think of.....
I heart Seattle!
I heart Seattle! by desimadeline

Prada 2012


Well....
onto sad things for a second. I ended my 7 month-or-so relationship with someone very special to me. It was a hard decision, but my mind is evolving and changing, for a much healthier and positive glow, I bought a knitting kit and new sketch book today, maybe try to dial  up the pubescent-version-of-me and get some tips on creativity, ya know.

This might sound crazy, but for as long as I can remember, I have been an onycophogist, (sp?) AKA a nail-biter. I am effin 26 years old, and finally have stopped biting them. Crazy. I think I'll have to try my hand at gradation-painted nails... oh all those hep-cats are doin' it these days, le sigh.

Okay okay, I am off to knit. Be forewarned; pics of gradation nails and too-much-knitting are to be posted soon, I am sure.

ta ta for now

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