Monday, January 24, 2011

observational recovery tower

Is where I seem to be reporting from.

I have now learned COMPLETELY (not the melody or some slacker bullshit) Cee-Lo's "Fuck You" on piano. With singing. I have never attempted singing and playing piano simultaneously. It works for me.
Also, in the works, "Paper Bag" by Fiona which seems to be my romantically-challenged theme for the week, and "Waltz (Better than Fine)", both by the ever-so-angsty Ms. Apple. I am almost have them done.

I sit now for 11 hours at a time at night and play lap steel, piano, violin, or acoustic guitar. I emerge and lose myself, and then of course find myself.

I spoke with Ron, whom I think I am going to make my sponsor for NA/AA, also my roomate, about how as a social chameleon to adjust and take on the characteristics of your societal surroundings... and lose who you ever were to begin with. Now, with no one to impress, or distract, entertain, seduce, amuse, etc... I find myself in the Pole Barn learning diminished and augmented chords and modes, and whatnot.
"SoberJam" was tonight. Had the two most gorgeous boys show up, one of whom will remain anonymous and I have been seeing a lot of lately. His brother just got back from Nashville... but they both have dreads and don't like country lol.

I feel like I always did growing up... isolated. The oddball. These things I ran away from and never looked back and immersed myself in Bellingham or travel, and people- crowds, hoards of people. No silence. And now I am playing  a game with it. It is coaxing me back into the days of journals and blogs and photography, music, singing, sketchbooks. Alas, Saturday night came and went, no one called or texted me, I was lost anyway and night slipped by like birth control pill on the morning after prom for some poor dumb blonde.

Honesty is also a trend I am trying to set withing MYSELF.

Also, my eldest daughter is going to submit a doodle for Google's "doodle for Google" contest.
She is already the winner in my eyes. It is supposed to depict their ambitions for adulthood.

I wonder if Madeline decides to participate how one goes about drawing the overthrow and occupancy of China...... *shrugs* She is O-Ren Ishii afterall.

Note to self': invest in yellow jumpsuit for Emo Baby.

I sleep now. Thank you Diphenhydramine HCI.


  1. Diphy HCL is a good friend to have...

    Yellow Jumpsuits are better...

    Madeline would obviously draw a kick-ass Jenna-Mombie-bot that would have like, eye-shadow that could shoot laser beams, a voice that could eat a mountain, and the ability to bring to life her twisted legions of undead-art (and skullanimals, don't forget those Benny, jeez) And basically have a paper drawing with China traced out and you in the middle of it, like, a bazillion feet tall, and a bunch of 2d corpses lying everywhere, probably with you sucking one of their brains out with a capri-sun straw...

    Desi is going to take over the world...I've known this for a while now, this only reaffirms that...

    "Life is suffering, princess, anyone tells you anything else is selling something..."

    "All the poetry has wolves in it, except for one..."

    Sober Jam, or jamming Sober?

    I was still interested in what you said, bt-dub (I'm stealing that, hope you don't mind...) about coming out to your recovery house, maybe. Let me know more about that, please...

    Music is a better addiction than any I have ever found...pursue it!

    I'm still waiting until you learn like, Billy Jean, or Man in The Mirror on that recorder you said you got for christmas; or until I can play Aeroplane, and we could sing and you could sign it maybe?

    operational recovery tower-reads like a chapter title in a mystery novel, nice...

    (I commented on this blog, backwards, from bottom to top, for some reason, by the way...)

  2. I READ BACKWARDS LIKE THAT! and that is an awesome comment. I need things like that.
    I am becoming so inside myself that when others try to talk to me I find it annoying almost... but words I can read at the end of playing piano for ELEVEN hours straight is an addiction. Thank you. I will write you more later. I am soooo sick :(

  3. Aww... :( I'm really sorry, it was just seein' you kinda made me forget that I was sick, so I didn't mention it :( but if you did get it from me, it shouldn't last too long, I'm just about over my cold at this point. I can't wait to hear all the things you've been learning, I need to get myself some guitar strings so I can polish up aeroplane and start learning a bunch of flaming lips songs, I've been incredibly addicted to them as of late, Ambulance Driver, Psychic Wall, Fight Test, Yoshimi Battles the Giant Robots, but most of all, Do You Realize...(that you have, the most, beautiful face)

    Loving and Missing as Always,
    Benny <8